Why I Attract more Proposals after Forty?

This looks strange. I attract more proposals at this age than I used to get in my twenties: I know my worth Aligned with myself Traditional matrix programming diminished Self assured and know my worth Social barriers no longer make a difference Tapped into the real side of life Old lessons taught by society went away Settling for less is not needed Not entertaining knights and pages King is always there Released what no longer serves me Self sufficiency and becoming my own healer, savior and provider No longer settling as a "second option" Tapping into a soul mission (divinity, tarot, mysticism, arts, sciences) Make and follow my own rules. (Old rules do not serve me any more) Cocreating with spirit Chop wood Not settling for someone who treats me like a door mat

Keeping a Middle Ground

I see many debates on social media around choosing between arranged or love marriage. Keeping it practical and grounded, I would recommend a middle ground. Going for a typical arranged marriage is very scary these days as nothing is known about the other person. People boast a lot and hide many basic facts. Just quoting an example, my first marriage was a highly arranged one where I did not know anything about the guy. My mother had a traditional mindset and believed that first proposal of a girl was the biggest blessing. It should never be rejected. This mindset ruined my life. In those days, investigation was not possible as social media platforms were not there. (2002 era). It was almost impossible to investigate about a boy and his family. Only basic things like appearance, height, education could be known. He told his age as 29 which turned out to be 39. He told about having a family of three children, turned out to be a family of seven siblings. The worst was being a golddigger and demanding a house. Due to lack of interest in me and support from his overly greedy parents, things ended badly. In order to avoid such issues, I suggest meeting a few times ethically is enough. Social media is there these days. You can discuss and get to know what he or she thinks. You do not need to go to a foreign country etc. You can keep your dignity and still investigate things. A typical arranged marriage is a blind dungeon these days. If you think that he or she is not aligned with you, you can refuse and leave. This does not give trauma that you face after a breakup in arranged marriages. I met some people after that and instantly knew within a few days that they were only killing time. Some were players, some were overly religious. Some of them only wanted a relationship without nikah. Some were full of lust and greed. Following a middle ground is always the best approach. It saves you from unwanted trauma and pain.

The Cheapest Man in my Life

We keep meeting people in our lives. We keep getting lessons from them. I do not have enemies or foes. I live a simple life. Marriage was never possible because mothers of men put unrealistic demands. Life was going good and average like. I usually stay in reality. One day, I received a message from Mr. X. I will not take any names but would love to write what he did. He approached me for a relationship. His views were polygamy based. In the current times, polygamy is not possible. He kept convincing and I was ok with that. The guy was already married with a kid. I had crossed 40s and most of the proposals I was getting were of married men with kids. Anyhow, the talks continued for a month and he invited me to his place. He belonged to medical field. I said ok. When I paid a visit, he was not there and one of his friends attended me. I felt a lot of insult that day. I am not fond of meeting people like that. I have a high ego when it comes to meeting men. It might have been a pressure from society that I took such a big step. Even in my college days, I never met anyone like that. I will not call it dating but an official visit. This was the first time I did it and did not like it. When I came back, after a few days I received his message that he was happily married and was ok with one marriage. Fine, not a problem. At times things do not work and we move on. We need to be receptive. After that, he started treating me like a free commodity and door mat. He kept using fake ids and used very bad words for me. He started calling me asexual, bisexual, lgbtq person as I did not marry. He made lots of bad comments about my face, looks and get up. He used the words "prostitute" and "ugly hag" for me. He even kept making fun of me unable to find a partner. He kept making fun of me for not having any biological children. The ids were fake. I have never seen such a C rated and third class man in my life. He even called me a lesbian for not having a male partner or husband. His attitude was highly intolerable. He said many sick things about me. He even said that I was a male using a female getup. None of the things he assumed and said about me were true. I might have gone through huge trauma in my first legal relationship and not interested in men any more. I have never seen such a cheap person in my life before. After this incident, my friends referred proposals of many married men to me but I was not ok now. I usually do not repeat my lessons. People and elders around me were like that single men would not be there at this age. From a social point of view, polygamy is not possible these days and it only brings insult and trauma. Lastly, his jokes were about having a family around him and my solitary life. He even told me that my worth was only Rs. 200 as haq meher. He even called me infertile and childless. I found it more than enough. I found it very insulting and humiliating. I think if you become second choice of someone, you will always get this treatment. I will not call it flirting. This was not even polygamy. In the diary of my life, I rate him a as a "C rated", manipulative, player fuck boy and the "cheapest man in my life".

My Demands In a Relationship

Miracles keep happening everyday. Trust should always be there. At times, many people ask me what kind of partner I always wanted. Were my demands too high? In fact I had the least demands. But a person with such traits was never there. Well, I became the person I always wanted. She never found a hero so she became the one. I kept developing all the traits I wanted in a partner. 1) Availability: (This was the most required trait as I never got someone who was available for me. Marriage centers were full of dudes looking for second wife, in presence of first. Marriage auntys only referred married men to me. That was not my demand. 2) More masculinity: I am not fond of men who exhibit feminine energies too much. I am not fond of men with short heights. Myself being 5.7 in height, I could not marry a man with height of 5.2. 3) Not a gold digger: I am not a gold digger neither I demanded a person with a greedy mindset. 4) Good background: This matters a lot for me. 5) Hygiene: I care a lot about physical, emotional and spiritual hygiene. I am not fond of someone with long nails and untidy getup. Taking showers everyday and staying clean is very important for me. 6) Shared goals and similar mindset: I got some proposals from dudes who wanted me to be overly religious, leave work and wear abaya. I am moderate. 7) Looks: Looks are always important for me. I always preferred an age difference of 3 to four years. I am not fond of very old or very young partner. My first (and only) relationship did not work as the man was eighteen years older than me. 8) Serious minded: Player boys and short time flirts have never been my wish. Mostly men outside are only into short term flirting. People at matrimonial websites are only killing time without involving families. (I have no interest in exes of a partner, past relationships, bank balance, smoking, not having a house of his own kind things.)

Paranormal in my life part 3

We used to live at our village back in 80s. My cousin and I studied at the same school. I had celebrated my 8th birthday and my cousin was 6. We used to cross a beautiful river while going to school. Mother nature was always beautiful. I used to catch fish too. There was no bridge on that river and things were peaceful and beautiful everyday. We used to step on river stones in order to cross the river. Life was beautiful. Mother nature was smiling. One day I woke up and left for school. When I was about to cross the river, I saw an old man chopping wood. He was dressed in plain village kind clothes. He had white beard and his eye brows were white too. "Child, skip the school today. This river will be heavily flooded tonight and you won't be able to come back. Avoid coming to this area for a week." His warning was strange as it had never happened before in two years. Floods and river? I looked at the sky. It was all blue. The sun was shining brightly. I stepped back and came back home with my cousin. I told mom about the warning old man gave me. That night, river was flooded heavily and I could even hear flowing waters. Our house was built on a hill. I could see the river and school from my window. Transportation and communication was blocked for a week. Villagers used to use the word " darya charh gaya hey". Things came to normal after a week. I wanted to know about that old man. I never saw that man before that. He was a stranger. One of my friends at school told me that an old man used to live near that river but he had passed away some years ago. He was a carpenter. I tried to explain to people how he looked. I never saw him after that day. Mine was a small village and mostly people were known to me. God always sends someone to save you.