Vibrational Alignment

I was planning to write on this issue. This topic is a part of my spiritual journey. How and why are soulmates align for marriage? I found the analysis very interesting. I have so many examples around me where I see two people alingning and starting a life together. Soul mates align at a specific vibration and specific time. The alignment which brings them together is more important. All of these marriages are highly successful. Case1: I shall start off with my parents as mother was engaged somewhere else and father too was engaged somewhere else. Both had a broken engagement before getting married. They were aligned. Case2: My uncle had a son who got married at 28. After two kids, wife left him and he started living off as a single dad for ten years. He came across a single mom of two kids. This boy had one son and one daughter. Single mom also had one son and one daughter. Now they are happily married and its a happy family now. Case3: A woman around me never pays full money and is a big fraud. Her husband is a bigger fraud as he has taken money from many people and never returned. Case4: A lady around me is highly religious and shes married to a man even more religious than her. The match keeps them together. Case5: Three of my female cousins are army doctors, being daughters of an army man. They are married to army doctors, being sons of army men. Vibrational match is perfect. Case6: A chubby lady around me (sorry for being judgemental), is married to even a chubbier dude. Both are happy and both eat a lot. Case7: A aunt of mine went abroad to pursue her medical studies. She belonged to feudal class. She came across a boy who also came to pursue medical studies, from feudal background. Both married and lived happily. Case8: A sports anchor around me has married an athlete woman and both are happily married. Sports is the joint vibration which keeps them together. Case9:Another couple around me is very jolly and extrovert. Both are social butterflies, both love adventures, both share similar goals and visions. Case10: An mba friend of mine is daughter of a general. She came across a boy in mba class who was also son of a general. Both are happily married. Perfect vibration. Case11: A couple around me is highly petite. Both husband and wife are very short. They look so cute together. These are all power couples based on perfect alignment. Casual flirts and player boys do not fall under this category. So many cases around me and the blog will continue. As I have noticed it, I have never had any alignment with anyone so far. Education does not match with anyone. Looks do not match with anyone. Family background does not match with anyone. I do not have shared goals or a shared vision with anyone. Forming a power couple is too far away for me. The basic things do not even match with any one yet. At times I wonder why would an aunt send me proposal of a father of three kids, with different education and background? I never found any alignment here. Not even a general interest I would say. I am curious to see who is aligned with me. The blog continues...

The Price of Solitude

After passing away of model and actress Humaira Ali, many questions arise. Many questioned her staying alone. Many questioned her profession. Many questioned her choices. Many did not like her lifestyle. At this age of life, we cannot question and judge why someone chose a certain career or loneliness. Some people like to keep their life private and stay an introvert.No one can know how much trauma someone is going through. Why someone left family? Why someone went into isolation? It is very hard to answer these whys. At times people ask me to marry and leave solitude but let me remind you that husband and marriage isn't for everyone. After thirties and forties, it is almost impossible to find a single available dude, as most of the mald friends in your circle are already married with kids. In your twenties, things never worked in arranged setups beacuse of heavy demands from boy and his family. My question is: Does having a relationship or marriage solve this problem? At least you have someone around you when you die. In my humble opinion, marriage is also not a solution. For an aged widow or divorced woman without kids and parents. Humera ali is not the first case. Remember beautiful Parveen Babi who died alone in her house. Nalni Jaywant and Geeta Kapoor died lonely deaths. Silk smitha was found dead in her flat. The importance of household and family arises here. Staying alone and away from family is dangerous. I belong to media too but I chose to stay with my family. Our career and our profession is our choice but staying alone isnt recommended. In case if you are unable to marry or the biological clock has ticked for your marriage and starting a family, you need to create a good social circle or adopt a child. Actress Ayesha khan, despite having kids died a lonely death. So what is the solution then? Geeta Kapoor had two kids and died alone. I see many parents dying alone these days as their children are in other cities or countries. I can not suggest or find any solution to this problem. Most of us choose an introvert and solitary path because people make our lives hell. Social circles are also toxic as you are a questionable object there. I left many circles as I was only asked about staying single. That was becoming heavy on my nerves. You can not tell people again and again that the boy's mother did not like your curly hair. You can not tell people that the boy's mother did not like your tall physique. I chose solitude because peace was important for me. The story continues....No answer to this question...

Choice is yours

Life is always a choice for a woman. Relationship is also a choice for a woman. 1) If you choose to marry at a young age, you must know that you will make many silly mistakes for which you will not be forgiven. 2) If you choose to marry in an arranged setup, you must know that the guy will be unknown to you and many aspects of his personality will be shocking for you. 3) If you choose to marry an unemployed dude, you must realize that he will feed on your income and will need lots of financial support. 4) If you choose to marry a very well established and successful dude, you must realize that you will always be treated low. Your self esteem will be shattered after some time. 5) If you choose to marry a very handsome and prince charming kind man, you should be ready to cope with his affairs and girl friends too. 6) If you choose to marry a very religious man, your services will be cloaked in religion as you will miss many aspects of grounded life. 7) If you choose to marry a rich dude and be his trophy wife, you are living life as a puppet only. You are dressing, eating and living according to his requirements. 8) If you marry an average looking dude, you will always be blamed for for your beauty and its misusage. He will only accuse you for having imaginary affairs with men, because he is complexed about his looks. 9) If you marry a dude much younger than you, always be prepared that he will leave you some day over a younger girl, accusing you for infertility, old age and youthful pleasures. 10) If you marry a widower, you must know that shadows of his deceased wife are still haunting him. He is still attached to her and might keep comparing you to his old wife. Get ready to fight with a shadow. 11) If you choose to marry a very older dude, you must realize that he might pass away and will come with nothing. His emotions, passions and fires are all gone. After his demise, you will be kicked out by step children. 12) If you choose to have relationship with a married dude, you must realize that his wife and children are his first priority. You are only a 'side chick' for him. He will never give you the space you want in your life. Most of your dreams will be unfulfilled. 13) If you choose to marry your blood cousin, you must be prepared for medically unfit kids. Cousin marriages bring lots of genetic diseases. 14) If you choose to marry after forties, you must know that biological clock to start a family has gone down. No pregnancy is possible at this age. The dude you are marrying must know that babies cant happen at this age. 15) If you choose to marry a widower with kids, you must know that you are only an educated servant to his kids. 16) Lastly, if you choose to stay alone and single, get ready for something very serious. Get ready for people questioning you and your sexuality. You don't have any engagement ring, you don't have any wedding bells. You don't have have any wedding dress to wear. You don't have any wedding album to share. You don't have any husband stories to share with anyone. You don't have any honeymoon memories. You are missing motherhood and kids. If you have a social circle where your friends are married, you might feel depressed. On a darker note, some male friends will try to flirt with you as an option, since you are available. 17) If you choose to marry via a marriage center, they will never contact you after taking money. It is a very old tactic. 18) If you form a relationship with a player, you must know that things will never manifest into real marriage. So choice is yours now...

شادی- ایک ٖفیصلہ یا انتخاب؟

"عمر سینتیس سال ہو چکی ہے"

"ابھی تک بے چاری کا بخت نہیں کھلا"

"پتہ نہیں بے چاری کی تقدیر کب کھلے گی؟"

"ہاۓ اتنی خو بصورت ہے، پھر بھی کوئی نہیں ملا"

"کیا آپ کو تنہائی محسوس نہیں ہوتی؟"

"کیا آپ کو کوئی چاہنے والا نہیں ملا؟"

"لگتا ہے آپ کے ماں باپ کو آپ کی فکر ہی نہیں"

"بیٹی کے بوجھ سے جلد از جلد سبکدوش ہونا چاہیئے"

اب یہ چند وہ الفاظ ہیں جو کنواری لڑکیوں کا جینا دو بھر کر دییتے ہیں۔۔نہ ہمارے لوگ کسی کے حالات جاننے کی کوشش کرتے ہیں اور نہ سمجھنے کی کوشش کرتے ہیں۔ بس ایک ہی رٹ لگائی ہوتی کہ شادی کیوں نہیں ہوئی۔

ہمارے معاشرے میں بن بیاہی لڑکیوں کی تعداد میں روز بروز اضافہ ہو رہا ہے۔  صرف یہی نہیں، طلاق یافتہ، خلع ہافتہ اور سنگل ماؤں کی تعداد بھی بڑھ رہی ہے۔ اس کی اصل وجہ کیا ہے؟ کچھ لوگوں کے مطابق لڑکی کا سگھڑ، امیر، خاندانی ، شریف، خوبصورت اور تعلیم یافتہ ہونا بے حد ضروری ہے ورنہ اچھا رشتہ نہیں ملتا۔

اب یہاں ایک بات سمجھنے کی ضرورت ہے۔ میرے جاننے والوں میں کچھ بے حد غریب لڑکیاں بھی ہیں  جن کی شادیاں وقت پر ہو گیئں۔۔

کچھ بہت حسین اور امیر لڑکیاں بھی ہیں جو اب تک کنواری ہیں۔  ایک اور المیہ ہمارے معاشرے کا یہ ہے کہ ذرا لڑکی کی عمر تیس  سے زیادہ ہوئی، وہاں لوگ بڑی عمر کے شادی شدہ مردوں کے رشتے بھیجنا شروع کر دیتے ہیں۔ بغیر یہ دیکھے کہ عمر بے شک زیادہ ہے، مگر ہے تو لڑکی کنواری ہی۔ ایک شادی شدہ عمر رسیدہ آدمی کے ساتھ رشتہ طے کر دینا کہاں کی عقلمندی ہے۔

کچھ ماں باب،  جن کی کنوارہ بر ملنے کی امید بالکل ختم ہو چکی ہوتی ہے، ایسے رشتوں پر ہاں کر دیتے ہیں۔

میری ایک بڑی عمر کی سہیلی کی شادی ایک طلاق یافتہ مرد سے طے کر دی گئی۔ لڑکی نے صبر کر لیا۔ کچھ عرصے بعد اس کی پہلی بیوی حلالہ کر کے واپس آنے کی خواہشمند ہو گئی۔ چونکہ ان صاحب کی بھی محبت اپنی پہلی بیوی سے تھی، دوسری کو چھوڑنا پڑا۔ اب میری دوست واپس اپنے والدین کے گھر آ گئی ہے۔ اور شادی کے نام سے توبہ کر لی ہے۔ ایک تو شادی ہوئی بڑی عمر میں اور وہ بھی ناکام ہو گئی۔ وہ بزرگ جو اس وقت نصیب کھولنے پر بضد تھے، وہ سب غائب ہو گئے۔

ایک شادی شدہ اور ذہنی مریض، جس کی دو بیویاں اس سے خلع لے کر چلی گئی تھیں، کے ساتھ میرا نصیب کھولنے کی کوشش بھی کی گئی۔ میں نے سوچا، یہ بے چارہ تو اپنا نصیب نہیں کھول سکتا، میرا کیا کھولے گا؟ انکار کر دیا۔  

ایک بات غور طلب ہے کہ ہر لڑکی شادی نہیں کر سکتی۔ کچھ لڑکیوں کے گھریلو حالات ایسے ہوتے ہیں کہ وہ شادی کر ہی نہیں سکتیں۔ مثال کے طور پر میری ایک سہیلی تھی جس کے باپ کا  انتقال ہو گیا تھا۔ اس کی والدہ بھی علیل تھیں اور وہ لڑکی اپنی ماں اور چھوٹے بہن بھائیوں کے لیے کما رہی تھی۔ اچھی خاصی خوش شکل اور پڑھی لکھی تھی۔  لیکن وہ شادی نہیں کر سکتی تھی۔

اسی طرح   میری جان پہچان میں دو اور ایسی لڑکیاں ہیں جو شادی نہیں کر سکتیں۔ دونوں بچپن سے جگر کی مریضائیں ہیں۔  ان کی میڈیکل رپورٹس شادی کے  خلاف ہیں۔اسی طرح دو بہنیں ہیں جن  کا باپ  پچھلے دس سال سے   کومے کی  حالت میں ہے اور ماں کی بینائی ختم ہو چکی ہے۔ دونوں بہنیں گھر کے کام کرنے کے ساتھ ساتھ علیل والدین کی مکمل دیکھ بھال بھی کرتی ہیں اور نرس کی ڈیوٹی بھی کر رہی ہیں۔   شادی کا پوچھو تو صاف انکار کر دیتی ہیں کہ بیمار ماں باپ کو کون دیکھے گا؟

کبھی کبھی اچھی شکل ، شرافت اور تعلیم  کے باوجود ایسے حالات پیدا ہو جاتے ہیں کہ انسان شادی نہیں کر سکتا۔  میری ایک دوست ہے جس کو بچے نہ ہونے پر شوہر نے شادی کے پانچ سال بعد طلاق دے دی۔ وہ  لڑکی اب  اپنی بیوہ ماں کے ساتھ  ریتی ہے۔اس کا کہنا ہے کہ بچے وہ پیدا کر نہیں  سکتی، شادی کر کے اس نے کیا کرنا ہے۔ اگر مرد بہت بھی اچھا ہو، تو بھی اس کی ماں یا بہن بچہ نہ ہونے کے طعنے ضرور دیتے ہیں۔یہ سب وہ بھگت چکی ہے اور مزید نہیں دیکھنا چاہتی۔

لڑکی کا کنوارہ رہنا معاشرتی مجبوری کے تحت نہیں ہوتا، کبھی  کبھی اس کے حالات اس کی اجازت نہیں دیتے۔   جب میں  نے میڈیا  میں قدم رکھا  تو بہت سی ایسی مثالیں دیکھیں جہاں لڑکیاں اپنے گھر والوں کی کفالت کر رہی تھیں۔ مجھ سے بھی ہر  انٹرویو میں یہی سوال بار بار پوچھا گیا۔ جس کا ایک  ہی جواب تھا کہ بڑی عمرکے شادی شدہ مردوں کے رشتے  تھے، اس لیے میرے والدین  نہیں مانے۔

ہر ماں باپ کے اپنی بیٹی کے لیے کچھ خواب ہوتے ہیں۔ وہ یہی چاہتے ہیں کہ ان کی  بیٹی کو کمانے والا، کنوارہ اور شریف لڑکا  ملے۔ کون سے ایسے ماں باپ ہیں جو چاہیں گے کہ کنواری بیٹی کی شادی کسی بڑی عمر  کے بچوں والے مرد سے کر دی جاۓ اور وہ گھٹن زدہ زندگی گزارے۔

ایک اچھی بات جو دیکھنے میں آئی ہے، وہ یہ ہے کہ اب غریب طبقے میں بھی خاصہ شعور بیدار ہونے لگا ہے۔ ایک دن میری  گھر کام کرنے والی عورت کہنے لگی، "باجی میری بیٹی کے رشتے سب بڑی عمر کے شادی شدہ مردوں کے ہیں۔ میں نے سوچ لیا ہے کہ کوئی لڑکا ہی دیکھوں گی۔ بڑی عمر والوں کو لڑکی نہیں دوں گی۔ اس کو پڑھا لکھا کر اس قابل کروں گی کہ کل کو اپنے پیروں پر کھڑی ہو سکے۔ ایک رشتہ ستر سال کے آدمی کا آیا ہے جو اب تیسری شادی کرنا چاہتا ہے۔ میں نے انکار کر دیا ہے"

یہ سب جان کر مجھے اتنی خوشی ہوئی کہ بس۔ عام طورر پر اس طبقے میں بیٹی بوجھ سمجھی جاتی ہے۔ لیکن ایک ملازمہ کے خیالات جان کر مجھے بہت اچھا لگا۔

آخر میں میں یہی کہنا چاہوں گی اپنے آپ کو اتنا مضبوط کریں کہ کل کو حالات کا مقابلہ کر سکیں۔ ہر لڑکی کے لیے شادی ممکن نہیں ہوتی۔ ہمارے یہاں لوگ صرف مشورے دینے کے شوقین ہوتے ہیں۔ وہی گھسی پٹی پرانی باتیں بار بار دہرائی جاتی ہیں۔ ضروری نہیں کہ شادی لڑکی کا نصیب کھول ہی دے گی۔ میری چند بڑی عمر کی سہیلیوں نے شادی شدہ مردوں سے شادیاں کی تھیں، جو ایک یا دو سال میں ہی بری طرح ناکام ہو گیئں۔ بھلا کیا نصیب کھلا ان کا؟ الٹا ماں باپ کے گھر واپس آ گیئں۔

میرا کہنا یہی ہے کہ اگر رشتے مناسب نہ ہوں، یا بالکل ہی بے جوڑ ہوں، تو نہیں کرنا چاہییے۔ اپنے آپ میں  اتنی قوت پیدا کرنی چاہیئے کہ انسان حالات کا سامنا کر سکے۔ 

Hidden Sources of Gluten to Avoid - Celiac Care

Going Gluten Free

I am not a doctor, but just a food blogger and naturo path. The first signs of gluten intolerance were strange for me. I started developing blisters and bumps on my face, used to bleed and full of pus. Never understood what it was. I noticed a trigger in it after eating gluten. After visiting 3 doctors, everyone was unable to identify what it was. One said don't eat banana, one said don't eat dry fruit and their less researched and useless stories. Despite using their medicines, my face was not clear and filled with strange blood filled stuff. I was sick of it. I started a gf free life style and quit all the steroids and antibiotics given by the doctors. They gave me wrong diagnosis. He diagnosed it as "Photo contact Dermatitis" and asked me to stay away from sun. (A lack of Vitamin D I suffered for many months). This was not sun or banana that was causing it. Gluten was the culprit behind all this. Just check if your doctor is giving you the correct diagnosis or not. Plus I removed gluten from my foods and switched to homemade gf breads, cakes and muffins. The face blisters have disappeared after that. I thank God and all the people who helped me in my journey of autoimmune problem and have encouraged me. After getting healed, I decided just to spread awareness among people and guide them what to eat and what to avoid. If God has cured me, I must spread awareness among people who are suffering from this disease. Doctors never tell full facts. They are in a hurry to make more money. Plus my mother is Gluten intolerant. A doctor gave her high antibiotics and her intestines got damaged for 8 months. She had bleeding stools too. I asked her to stop all the med and switch to gluten free diet with more nutrients. She is OK but even if she eats gluten, symptoms are back. So please check if your doctor is guiding you right or not.

Vital Signs: My Childhood Ecstasy

I

t is very hard to flashback old memories, but I’ll try my best to portray them. It was an uninteresting and droning evening somewhere around mid of 80’s. My dad was posted in Azad Kashmir and then to Siachen. We were staying at our grandparents place in Baffa. Life was quite slow and boring at the village house, with little creativity and almost no entertainment for young kids. Village folks use to have food around 8 pm and went to sleep around nine pm. Television transmission programs used to be quite dreary and un-enjoyable for young kids. 

One evening, we were watching local television routine transmission. It aired a song with four teenage boys, holding musical instruments and singing in an entirely novel style. We kept watching the song called “DIL DIL Pakistan” and didn’t move until the song finished. “WOW, that was amazing”, said my little 4-year old brother, “I love it’. I had the same thoughts as well.

They just mentioned the singers’ names. They later came to be known as “Vital Signs”, a top-notch and first official band of Pakistan. They produced some more hits like “Chehra”, “Tum Mil Gaye”, “Gorey”, “Sanwali Saloni”, but “Dil Dil Pakistan” was a skyrocket hit, which brought them under the limelight. National songs aired those days were usually picturized indoor in PTV studios. “Dil Dil Pakistan” set a totally novel trend in the history of Pakistani patriotic songs. It was something stunning for the new generation. We later came to know about all the four enigmatic boys of the band. The two young teenagers Shahzad Hasan and Rohail Hyatt were the pioneers of Vital Signs. They beautifully composed a ghazal “Chehra” by late Parvin Shakir, which I found amazing too. There is a slight difference between the “Chehra” composed first and the later one. The one composed earlier is a bit speedy and fast, with six young men sitting and enjoying at the side of Lotus Lake Islamabad. One can see glimpses of a much peaceful Islamabad and outskirts of much cleaner Rawal Lake very clearly in the video.   

Later Nusrat Hussain (guitarist) was replaced by Salman Ahmed, a student at medical College. Vital signs kept producing rocking hits like “Aisa Na Ho”, “Rahi”, “Yehi Zameen”, “Hum Tum” and “Aitebar”. Their videos even sketched swinging moods, ranging from ecstasy to extreme angst. “Dil Dil Pakistan” showed patriotism, “Tum Mil Gaye” depicted marital failure and ending relationships. “Wo Kaun Thi” depicted a typical college boy’s flirtatious attitude, with writing love letters, standing outside college gates, and talking to girls on the phone. “Gorey” and “Sanwali Saloni” had cultural roots, shot in Kailash and Thar, respectively. All of these were luminously directed. One thing that I liked about their videos was that females were never exploited. They even used to model in their own videos and almost eighty percent of the videos were shot without any female models. Even then they were big miraculous hits. Videos like “Wo Kaun Thi”, “Yehi Zameen”, “Chehra”, “Do Pal”, “Aise Hum Jiyen”, “Mera Dil”, “Maula”, “Musafir”, “Yaad Karna” and “Dil Dil Pakistan” didn’t have even a single female model.

My younger brother was so inspired that he decided to play the cover for “Dil Dil” on his Parents’ Day in 1989. He asked us to get the same kind of jeans and shirt, that Junaid was wearing in the song and a small guitar as well. For the whole night he kept practicing the song, though he was so young that couldn’t utter words properly.

Developing a youth culture was not a cup of cake in 80’s; it was a time when no one could talk openly about musical shows or concerts. The credit goes to some highly innovative and fresh musical programs like “Music 89”, which introduced/promoted many upcoming singers and bands, including Vital Signs and Jupiters. Late Nazia Hasan along with sibling Zoheb and Uncle Sargam hosted it and another program “Dhanak” as well. It aired songs like “Aha”, “Paisa”, ”Dosti” (Jupiters) and ”Do Pal”, with music of “Do Pal Ka Jeevan” in the background. Songs like “Gorey”, and “Do Pal” were blockbusters and picturized in 90’s, with more vivid directorial efforts. (Shoman) Shoaib Mansoor was the first one to depict the exceptional caliber of the young men, and directed a mini-series “Dhundlay Raastay”, featuring all the four members of Vital Signs, Tabinda Sheikh and Nayyar Kamal. The play was written by legendary Hasina Moeen and directed by Shoman. I felt that it could have been made in a better manner, because it was comparatively meager than other masterpiece works of the two legends. Though it managed to show well how members of Vital Signs worked together towards achieving their objectives. The mini play threw light on the early stardom journey of the four young enthusiastic men, their interests, passions and priorities. My favorite dialogue in the play is, “Are you mad? Kia hum loag tere liye sirf musicians hein?”

 

Even today, almost after two decades, they have a huge list of fans, listening to their songs and playing covers.  They managed to create relishing and mesmerizing music in a highly Islamized era, where there wasn’t any concept of concerts and shows, Vital signs had euphoria and charisma of their own. They were different individuals with their unique set of traits.

Until now, every night I loved listening to the songs of VS. But after the sad demise of JJ, listening to his songs makes me gloomy and tearful. The everlasting memories of my childhood and teen years bring tears. 

Just quoting some lines from the song "Yaad Karna"..

Main apni awaaz aur apney saaray geet...
tumhain day jaoon ga..
Meri sab cheezon ko yoonhe rehnay dena..
jaise shaam hote he..
main laut ke aaon ga..
mujhe kho kar bhi kabhi na khona..
mat rona..
beeti hoe batoon ko..
jagi hoe ratoon ko..
yaad karna..
yaad karna aur jee lena..
Mar bhi jaoon tau mat rona...

At times I wonder, many of his lyrics talk about his departure.

Do pal ka yeh jeevan hai..

Kuch kerna hai tu kar guzro..

Har Lamha ek sapna hai.

Kia jane apna ho  na ho..

Another song..

Tum chale gaye iss tarha..

Baadal udey jis tarha..

Laut ke phir na aane ko..

Kaheen aur ki pyas bujhane ko..

Koi aur jahaan mehkane ko...